The Media is just as corrupt as the Election itself!

The Media is just as corrupt as the Election itself!

Trump, as usual, has a very strange history of making bizarre, off-the-wall statements, including a statement he made on the eve of his election saying he was a “good guy.” It wasn’t a good thing. He was a bad guy. He also has an odd habit of saying things he doesn’t understand.

I will give you the worst example yet:

“We are going to have the biggest tax cut that’s ever been in history, and then it will disappear for the next four years.”

He did not make this statement because he knew it would be a disaster, or the economy would be hurt, or he just didn’t want to say it aloud. He made this statement out of sheer ignorance. The fact that his own tax returns showed he was paying less in taxes than he did in the preceding decade suggests the tax code was being used in a way he didn’t understand. The fact he made it out of the facts doesn’t mean he knew they were incorrect.

As we all knew, his campaign is an embarrassment to the country, and he can’t stand to hear anyone tell him better things. He can’t, and will not, apologize for anything in public. So, he’s going to keep going at it.

“We are going to have some of the highest taxes that any country will ever go for because we won’t be able to compete with the top, and it’s not right. We’re going to have everybody put a floor under their house. We can’t afford to go down that steeply.”

I have no idea what he’s talking about.

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The Fake News is not talking about the fact that “Covid” is running wild all over the World

The Fake News is not talking about the fact that “Covid” is running wild all over the World, not just in the U.S. I was at the Virtual G-20 meeting early this morning and the biggest subject was Covid. We will be healing fast, especially with our vaccines!

The Fake News has been lying and spreading false news since the beginning. “Covid” is a fraud, and “fake news” has been the biggest lie of the entire election season.

All of this will soon be cleared up as the White House is the greatest propaganda machine ever created. President Trump will have nothing to fear because the White House is actually doing what the White House was created to do — disinformation!

“ There are a huge number of facts that the Trump administration is trying to keep hidden from the American people and, in fact,, the media. For example, according to the latest available FBI statistics,“the number of fake news articles on the social media site had been nearly four times as high as the number of actual articles from actual news stories“and nearly double what the number of fake news articles is on any other social media site and the number is almost seven times the number of actual article in this one. (See this page on the FBI and the Social Media for more information on this) The FBI, in an effort to ensure that the President has a clean slate after his first year in office, are not only removing fake news articles from the internet, they are also attempting, under the guise of “fake news,” to get rid of any and all evidence of collusion between the Obama White House and the Russian government to influence the 2016 election. And if you think the Trump administration is going to stop at nothing until they are forced to, that is simply true.

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Soliders of the Apocalypse

Every one of you was a soldier of the apocalypse. Some of you knew who the hell you were, some of you were simply curious. The city was the capital of the world, the hub of a great empire. The sky, the skies were your playground.

You were the heroes. The first ones that went to the frontlines. The ones who saved the world, you were the ones who died in an attempt to stop that madness from happening again. You fought alongside other heroes against evil. You stood strong in your determination; it had saved the greatest city on the face of the earth.

As the years pass, you know that there are more villains who want to see the city you saved become the place they want to rule. They tried to take full advantage of that opportunity to take it over once more. You were the beacon for your people. Not just those in uniform, but those who just walked this wasteland. Not just soldiers, but innocent civilians, people that were just trying to get through the day, just trying to survive.

You’ve decided to step through the gates, out of the darkness of death to lead the next generation of heroes that will assume the mantle, make sure that your people live in peace.

Your name is… The Night Vale City Council President.

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The Admiral

This was my own prompt, and the response was mostly written by me with a few choice lines coming from GPT-2.

“And that’s why they call me ‘The Admiral’.” She grinned in a way that belied her seriousness, and the sound of a small but satisfying clang reverberated through the bar.

“What’s that??” he asked incredulously, not understanding the implication of either the noise or her comment.

“Fucking yokel,” The Admiral thought, teetering between letting the poor dirt smuggler off the hook and embarrassing him in front of his friends. The decision was easier when he shifted on his barstool, a barely concealed knife moving into view.

A number of people in the bar received simultaneous notifications on their comms and made themselves conspicuously absent as rapidly as they could. One of the last to leave called out just after they had turned the corner and were out of sight, “Go easy on the guy.” The shout triggered a round of quickly retreating laughter and did nothing to improve the attitude of the fine local gentleman.

“Oh Johnny, you’ve swung way above your weight class and I would encourage you to stand down,” The Admiral said, downing the last of her drink and signaling to the bartender for another.

The bartender, a tall but lean man, looked over and nodded. “The name is Stren, not Johnny, and I don’t care what your friends call you, no one beats me in a fair game of poker.” His hand had just barely started to move towards his blade when a blinding light filled the bar through one of the exterior windows that previously had been dark except for the running lights of a few passing shuttles.

Everyone else in the bar had either dropped behind some sort of cover or was shielding their eyes.  The Admiral however merely reached out and relieved Stren of his knife. “You my friend, have brought a knife to a naval engagement,” The Admiral yawned out the phrase, turning the knife over and examining it, “and a dull one at that. It’s not just a nickname, it’s a rank. While we’re at it, that’s not a search light, it’s a long range comm laser. Right now it’s politely saying ‘hello’,” the light wavered perceptibly with the rhythm of The Admiral’s speech. “I’m not going to bother explaining what a proxy is, but I suggest you apologize for impugning the honor of a ship-of-the-line before it stops being polite about it.”

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Chicago Cubs Saved From Losing Streak By Giant Space Monster

In local news, a giant space monster is currently eating Chicago, more on this story after sports.

In sports, today’s showdown between the Chicago Cubs and the New York Yankees has been interrupted by a giant space monster consuming the stadium. The space monster, identified by friends and family as “John Huggins”, consumed the sports venue over a period of seven heart wrenching minutes earlier this evening.

When contacted for comment, the Chicago Cubs’ management office indicated that discussions were continuing internally as to whether or not ticket holders would be eligible for a refund. “We are looking at the possibility, and we will continue to work with all of them,” said Cubs senior vice president and general counsel Brian Snook. “We have not made a final decision yet and will continue to monitor the situation.”

This is the second time in less than two months that the Cubs have had to forfeit a game due to their home stadium having been consumed. An investigation is under way by authorities as there are concerns that the giant space monster may have been intentional. “A gigantic space monster eating a sports venue is what I would call, quite frankly, a real shock,” said the legendary Cubs broadcaster, Lou Brock. “There are two sides to every story, you always try to look outside the box and look for the bigger, bad, more evil, bigger things, but in this case I think it’s pretty clear that the monster’s trying to eat us to see what we will be able to do about it.”

Cities around the world, like Austin, Texas, and Sydney, Australia, have witnessed similar stories, as have some professional sports organizations like MLB, the National Hockey League, or the International League Table Tennis Federation. The American Association Baseball Society has even stated that giant space monsters do exist, while the International Olympic Committee has stated that the “monster” is simply making the game in Chicago a bit more entertaining.

In any case, the Chicago baseball, hockey, and track stars have come together today to take on the monster. There were no survivors. “It’s crazy,” said outfielder Brandon Workman. “Whoa!” Our thoughts and prayers go out to Brandon’s family as those were his last words before being consumed by the giant space monster.

“I was trying to catch a fly ball, but I got stuck. Then the giant space monster came out of nowhere and swallowed me. It was just too much,” said baseball player Matt Wieters via Twitter. Cubs pitcher Jon Lester relayed a message via his agent from inside the monster stating, “It was kind of chewing on my arm in the first half.”

When asked to comment on the demise of outfield Workman, cubs third baseman Kris Bryant said, “I’m going to be a little bit sad to see the guy go. I mean he was one of us. We were all there, watching him get eaten. He’s a great guy, he was one of the best. He’s going to be missed, but at the same time I think he’s going to go to his grave with the rest of us in a good place.”

Stay tuned to WGPT Channel 2 News for updates in this fast-developing story.

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Quarantasty

This “recipe” started with just the prompt “food: deliciously decadent”. Over the course of 15 minutes, it was fleshed out with input from the GPT-2 model.

The bread is made from wheat and the meat from lamb, but I’m not sure what the other meat is but I’m sure it’s good. I made it for my family last Sunday night and they said, “Oh, what a great recipe, this is amazing!” and I think that’s a pretty good compliment if you ask me. If you want to make this delicously decadent dinner during the quarantine, now you can with this recipe for a homemade version.

If there’s a food shortage, lockdown, or other pandemic related issue in your area with obtaining some of the ingredients, don’t worry. You can always make some last minute substitutions, just use your best judgement. I had to substitute beef jerky for the lamb, MRE crackers for the bread, and dried apricots for the butter. The jerky was too sweet so I switched to regular dried apples for a bit of a crunch. In a pinch you can even use crickets.

You could make it into a dinner to eat on the way to the hospital or just to share with someone you love. Just don’t let your guard down, even for a second, and you won’t be sorry. I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday weekend, stay safe, wash your hands, avoid windows, and enjoy this recipe.

Ingredients:

2 cans of lamb, skinned and chopped (you can buy dried, fresh, or frozen)

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tablespoon of olive oil

1 teaspoon of black pepper, ground up

1/8 cup of brown sugar

2 cups of chicken stock

1/4 cup of dried dried apricots

2 cups of butter, melted

2 large eggs, beaten

1/4 teaspoon of salt

1/2 teaspoon of garlic powder, ground into powder

Directions: Preheat oven to 375°. Add chicken stock, apricots and melted cheese to pot, stirring constantly until cheese is melted. Add the breadcrumbs & remaining breadcrumbs, cover and cook for 3 minutes then flip over. Sprinkle the chicken with salt and pepper, set aside. In a large bowl stir together oil, black pepper, brown sugar and salt together. Add egg, chicken and chicken stock. Stir until incorporated.

Add flour, salt, and chicken stock mixture and stir. Add chicken and remaining flour mixture and mix until just combined. Fold in the cooked breadcrumbs, the apricots, the butter, eggs, chicken broth, dried apricots, and salt.

Add the flour mixture to the chicken mix and stir until just combined. Cover with foil and bake in the preheated oven for 10 minutes, until just done. Remove from oven and allow to cool to room temperature. Serve hot with cranberry sauce as a side or drizzle over warm fruit.

If you make this recipe, be sure to snap a picture and hashtag it #quarantasty. I’d love to see what you come up with!

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The Land of the Rising Sun

This is a bit different than the other content I’ve posted. Rather than being all or nearly all machine generated, this story is machine assisted. The original prompt was generated by the model, and then the story was written a line or two at a time with the model providing suggestions as to how to continue the story.

“Remember citizens that the sun has never set, it is still rising, but the day has never been the same since the Great War.” The sign off for the daily news broadcast had been the same for as long as Gregor could remember, and it was true. It’s not like he needed a reminder during his excursion out onto the surface though.

As the inner airlock door opened, clouds of steam billowed out into the interior of the base. Massive ventilation fans spun to life, clearing the air in seconds as Gregor stepped through into the room. A pair of technicians who resembled medieval blacksmiths more than anything else rushed forward and began attacking his suit with hammers and pry bars.

Removing the armored suits was always a race. The scale-like overlapping plates had to be tightened frequently until the suit reached equilibrium on the surface. Too slow and the cooling plates would contract, trapping the wearer inside until they were cut free. Gregor shrugged off the remnants of the outer layer of the suit and quickly moved to the far side of the room away from the technicians who were stripping down the armor into its component parts so they could be cooled, inspected, and prepared for another use.

“Well, that didn’t take long,” Gregor muttered, pulling his inner helmet off, and then removing his gloves. He grabbed his maintenance checklist from his locker and recorded the work he had done during his trip, noting what work would need to be completed by the next engineer scheduled to head to the surface. He glanced through the list. There were no items on the list that would require more than a couple of hours of hard labor. Barely a quarter of the sun was above the horizon and the equipment failures were already coming fast than they had just last year. None of the equipment was meant for this environment, he knew he and everyone in the colony was damned lucky to have survived this long.

He felt a pang of regret as his thoughts turned to those that had been lost. The Great War, at least that’s what they called it, had been between other much larger factions twenty years ago. Gregor and his then crewmates were conducting a mining survey of a dwarf planet close to the primary in this system. The shot that forced them down onto the planet hadn’t even been fired at them, just a stray projectile that had missed someone else. It would have continued on to infinity had their ship not gotten in the way.

They crashed near the terminator, no communications, and no engines. They did the only thing they knew how to do. They dug. It took months, but they dug a shelter from the approaching heat, and they hadn’t stopped digging in the twelve years since the crash. They salvaged everything they could from the ship itself, repurposing the systems to build their underground shelter. If they had more time, they could have made repairs and gotten off the planet, but as the daily broadcast reminded him and everyone else, the sun was still rising.

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DARK MOON WONDER

FROM: DSS HOWARD

TO: Agent CANDID

 If you’re reading this it means… well it means a number of things. First of all, you’re still alive, congratulations. Second, it means that things have gone completely pear shaped and CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN is in full effect. The stars are right, the barriers between world… you already know all of that, it’s probably been all over the television from the MoD.

I wish I had good news, but the forecast for the forseeable future is various shades of bad. I’ve had a very good look over the past week, but I’m now a bit worried that my soul might be a bit too far away. Well, that’s been the case for many years, but now that I see the future it looks a bit scarier. I’m afraid it will get worse.

I’ve also been seeing the moon for a while. The DARK sky seems to brighten up just as much as the darkness. The MOON is full of WONDER. The light has only faded and the night sky is gone with a dark glow.

-CODEWORD PROTECTED / DARK MOON WONDER-

Mo, it’s worse than they’re letting on, not just to the public, but even to our own people.  None of our plans accounted for how many of them there are.  SCORPION STARE was meant to take down individual targets, small groups. But the swarms… they blot out of the sun, they get into buildings through the smaller of crevices… we don’t have enough observers to staff the entire network, and even if we did the swarms move so quickly, only a small fraction of them get annihilated. The Americans are trying to retrofit drones with their own version of SCORPION STARE, make it mobile, god help them. I’m writing to you to apologize now for what I’m about to do. I’ve gone searching through Angleton’s archives, and I don’t think I came out whole, but I did find something. If SCORPION STARE is an rocket propelled grenade, DARK MOON WONDER is a tactical nuclear device.  I need you to get out of London.  Just take Lecter and go, now.  I’m activating DARK MOON WONDER and the satellites will have line of sight in less than an hour.  Please Mo, I can’t lose you too, again.

-CODEWORD PROTECTED / DARK MOON WONDER-

I’m still scared. I wonder what’s next.

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Former President Donald J Trump Concedes Election

Former President Donald Jose Trump announced his concession in a White House press conference this evening stating “Tonight we have lost, but we do have one more chance, and I’m calling on you to make your voices heard again.” The nightmarish news was greeted with a thunderous cheer by the crowd as the announcer stated, “Tonight the Republican Party has failed at everything.”

The former president continued, “I want to thank everyone who voted for my candidacy. You chose one of the lesser of great evils, a candidate who has a history of making outrageous statements and refusing to be held to the rules as President of the United States. You chose a candidate who is openly hostile to LGBT people, a candidate who is opposed to women and minorities, an opponent to the war in Iraq, a candidate who has been a loud, violent and divisive opponent to women and women-owned businesses, a candidate who has shown an unwavering interest in banning women from running for office, a candidate who has spent more time insulting Americans on Twitter than any other candidate, a candidate who has insulted the First Family, a candidate whose entire campaign is built around insulting the President.”

“This is a sad day for America, and it is a loss for the conservative movement,” said former President Donald Jewel Trump. “As President, I have led a team of loyal and dedicated men and women who have worked hard to create a better world for all Americans, from the men and women of NASA and the Marines to the women of the U.S. Secret Service to the men and women in defense contractors like Lockheed Martin. This effort is what makes our country great and has made us safer. I am not asking for this to be the end of my life, but it is time for me to hang my head in shame and to move on to the next chapter of my life.”

The former president then added, “We are here tonight to say that the Republican Party has never stood on its principles, the principles of our founders, the principles of our first President. It has been on a collision course with those ideals ever since,” Trump concluded his speech and declared, “I will never stop fighting the good fight until the day I die.” For many people who witnessed President Trump’s speech, the news that he had decided to concede seemed to shock and awe the crowd that had been at his side throughout the race. After the news broke, the audience was left to ponder the significance of the news, and to consider the implications of the President’s announcement.

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Multiple Indictments Announced Against Former President Donald J. Trump

Media outlets are reporting that former presidental Donald Julio Trump has been indicted today by a federal grand jury on suspicion of violating the Espionage Act in relation to a leak that revealed classified information to an American news organization about a secret CIA program, and that he lied on the job application for the office of the presidency and received over $100,000 in bribes from Russia.

The FBI says that they arrested Donald Trump yesterday afternoon, apparently on a warrant to search his office for items that may incriminate him in connection with the leak, but which have yet to be found. There is little information available at the moment about the nature of the investigation and when it might be opened. There is no immediate statement from the FBI.

The day before this was announced yesterday, President Trump himself issued a statement that read in part: “I want to stress that I am innocent of any of the charges laid against me by the United States Government and that I fully cooperate with the ongoing investigation into how these allegations came into my possession. I hope that the investigation will prove that I am innocent of all charges.” In a separate statement, President Trump confirmed that his daughter Ivanka and her husband, Jared Kushner, were being investigated for possibly violating the emoluments clause of the Constitution in connection with their role in a real estate investment scheme.

The FBI confirmed that this is the largest criminal investigation that has ever been brought against an American president. The case is one of many ongoing investigations and investigations, in particular those related to President Trump and his family members and senior advisors, and with the assistance of the FBI and Department of Justice, and others. For further information, see the National Security Agency page that this article is based on.

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Words From The Machine

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